Storm
by ChristineGrey
Summary: Alex-centric oneshot about how this whole Izzie-thing will affect him


**Here's a short Alex-centric one shot inspired by the song "Storm" by Lifehouse. It's how I think this whole Izzie-thing will affect him. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**P.S.: I'm currently working on new chapters for "Never gonna leave your side" and "Help me forget". I promise I'll put them up as soon as I've finished them! **

* * *

**Storm**

_how long have I been in this storm  
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form  
water's getting harder to tread with these waves crashing over my head _

When she first told him what was about to happen to her, his whole life seemed to be crashing around him. He felt lifeless and just kept staring at the wall desperately trying to avoid her big beautiful deer-like eyes. First he wanted to yell at her for not telling him earlier, for not giving him more time to adjust to the most painful thought he ever had to think. He was mad at her for just springing this on him, like it was everyday business. They had been in this storm for way to long, for a while being separated by a tidal wave none of them seemed able to overcome. But somehow in the back of his mind he'd always known that he could never find true happiness and neither could she. Or maybe she would in one way or another but that wasn't what he had wanted. Not like this.

_if I could just see you everything will be alright  
if I'd see you the storminess will turn to light_

He wanted to run. Run far away from everything, like he'd told a good friend a few weeks back. He'd felt it in his heart that something earth-shattering was about to break his life into a million pieces. But then again, he couldn't leave. It was like he was glued to the same spot, held back by an invisible force that he couldn't explain in a scientific kind of way. He'd given his heart to her and without it, leaving wouldn't make sense anyway. So he stayed put, going through the most excruciating weeks with her. Staying by her side every single day.

_and I will walk on water and you will catch me if I fall  
and I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright  
and everything will be alright_

After treatment had failed he drove her home. She didn't want to spend one more minute in this hospital that had caused her too much pain already. The others didn't understand her decision to just stop and to be honest, neither did he. He hadn't given up hope that there may be a miracle.

But unfortunately, there wasn't.

_I know you didn't bring me out here to drown  
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down  
barely surviving has become my purpose  
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface  
_

There were moments when he wasn't sure anymore who was about to leave forever. Because sometimes at night, when he lay beside her slowly breathing figure, his lung seemed to collapse and his heart seemed to stop beating because the pain of loosing her was pressing down on his insides like he'd never experienced it before. And for a second he thought it wouldn't be the worst of his ideas to go with her. _  
_

_if I could just see you everything will be alright  
if I see you the storminess will turn to light  
_

When she told him that she loved him for the first time he wished it had been under different circumstances. Somewhere along the rocky road that he'd imagined their life would be. Somewhere in the future. But there was no future. Not for them together. That's exactly why he didn't make plans. Or he hadn't until she came along at least. His plans always had a tendency of failing sooner or later.

_  
and I will walk on water and you will catch me if I fall  
and I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright  
_

He knew that it wouldn't be long, when she didn't recognize him anymore. It had been horrible, watching her suffer from the incredible pain she had to feel every day. For her it would be a relieve to go but for him it wouldn't. He wanted her back so badly. The beautiful blond doctor who had changed his life forever. All he could hope for was that she would remember him.

He would remember her forever.

_  
and I will walk on water you will catch me if I fall  
and I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright _

_I know everything is alright  
everything's alright_

He didn't believe in the afterlife but right now he wished nothing more than to be one of these religious people who could find a reason in everything. But there was no reason to be found. He let his back slowly slide down the cold wall outside of her room and broke down.

All by himself, like he'd done it all his life.

**I know it's sad, but leave a review (good or bad!) **

**- Christine**_  
_


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